Lucky Ass was deeply focused at the sports bar, studying intently the flawless curvature of a buttocks, seeking inspiration for making accurate NHL betting choices. The flawless symmetry of this perfect posterior provided him with a remarkable insight that could lead to winning selections. A crowd had formed around him, eagerly anticipating the announcement of Lucky Ass. The Tampa Bay Lightning’s recent performance had been quite disappointing, having lost four out of their last five games. Furthermore, the Pittsburgh Penguins had emerged victorious in their previous five encounters with Tampa Bay, including a match just a week ago in Tampa Bay itself.
As he studied the backside, Lucky Ass began to see patterns that defied logic. He noticed that the shape of the buttocks seemed to correspond with the number of goals scored by each team in their previous games. He saw a connection between the size of the derrière and the amount of time spent on the power play. It was as if the entire universe had aligned itself in perfect harmony, creating a divine code that could be cracked by merely studying the contours of a rear end.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of contemplation, Lucky Ass made his move. He stepped away from the crowd, his face a mask of determination, and announced his pick for the night. “I’m placing my bets on the Pittsburgh Penguins to win tonight’s match against the Tampa Bay Lightning,” he proclaimed confidently. “The stars have aligned, and the ass has spoken.” The crowd gasped in awe and respect, recognizing the magnitude of this moment. Some even bowed their heads in reverence.
Meanwhile, at the Edmonton Oilers’ locker room, the team was preparing for their game against the New York Rangers. The players, too, had noticed Lucky Ass’s prediction and were buzzing with anticipation. The captain, Connor McDavid, turned to his teammate, Leon Draisaitl, and grinned. “Looks like we’ve got some good luck on our side tonight,” he said with a wink. “Let’s go out there and make this guy proud.”
As the players took the ice, they couldn’t help but feel an extra spring in their step. The energy in the arena was electric, and the fans were chanting Lucky Ass’s name. The Edmonton Oilers were red hot, having won four straight games, and tonight, they were determined to make it five.
“Take the Edmonton Oilers to win at home,” Lucky Ass cried out!