The neon lights of Las Vegas shone like a beacon, guiding lost souls towards the glittering casinos and seedy back alleys. In one of the city’s darker corners, a figure sat hunched over a computer, fingers flying across the keyboard. The screen displayed a series of numbers and odds, all meticulously organized. His name was Lucky Ass, and he was no ordinary handicapper. He was a genius at predicting NHL games, with an uncanny ability to sniff out winners.
But Lucky Ass wasn’t just a handicapper. Oh no, that was far too mundane for him. No, Lucky Ass had a secret. A very naughty secret. As he studied the numbers on his screen, his hands slowly began to wander southward. He unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a well-muscled chest. He ran his fingers through his slicked-back hair, savoring the feel of it as it slid through his fingertips. And then, with a satisfied smile, he reached down and began to stroke himself. His mind drifted back to the games he’d been analyzing.
The Las Vegas Golden Nights go Under the total number of goals scored 8-0-1 when playing in Dallas. The Total is at 6 -115. As long as the total stays at 6 or above, bet on this game to stay under! The New York Rangers are 2 -9 when playing in Pittsburgh. Bet on the Penguins to win at home! The Flyers have lost their last 7 when playing the Islanders in New York. Bet on the Islanders at home -145. The Montreal Canadiens have lost their last 7 games when playing the Ducks in Anaheim. Bet on Anaheim – 125 to win at home.
As Lucky Ass’s fingers danced over his throbbing member, he thought about the numbers, the teams, the players. And then, just as he was about to reach his climax, he felt a sudden surge of confidence. He glanced at the clock, noting the time with practiced efficiency. It was almost game time. Time to put his money where his mouth was. He closed his eyes, visualizing the scoreboards, the crowds, the sweat-soaked players. And then, with a sigh of relief, he came.
As the final afterglow faded from his skin, Lucky Ass straightened up, feeling rejuvenated and ready to face the day. He checked his notes one last time, making sure he had everything he needed. And then, with a grin that could only be described as predatory, he headed out into the city to place his bets. Today was going to be a good day. A very, very good day.